Though she faced a lot of criticism from the first wife. Now the first wife has no say. "If you are the second or third or fourth wife, that marital relationship is not going to be recognized for immigration purposes. The study describes the different experiences, reasons behind polygamy, its outcomes, and the coping strategies used by first, second, and third wives. A record of 26 women was collected for polygamous families through snowball sampling for the availability of co-wives. Jankowiak W, Sudakov M, Wilreker BC. Thats irresponsible. Evelyn, who has a four-year-old son, now works as a waitress to help her mother with the legal fees for her divorce. My mother is a retired teacher and my dad could never keep a job, so she supported us. These findings have implications for policymakers and family advisors. After 11 years passed when she had not conceived her in-laws forced her husband for co-wife. 2010;57(1): 121-127. Being Muslim doesn't change the biology of pain, of envy, and of sadnessthese are human emotions that are consequences of the act. "We injoi it and feele to prase the Lord." A nurse brought me this far she took me into her arms and her home and decided she would be my mother. You are a little older now, and you learned some harsh realities. Since that we gave importance, care and love toward each other, i accept his proposal. In a previous study by the perceived advantages of polygyny included sharing house chores and child-rearing similarly in the present study most of the polygamous women were reported particularly the infertile women helped the co-wives to bring up their children as well as daily household activities. I knew my family wouldnt approve of our marriage, but I was weak. All women were Muslims. But thats not how it works out for everyone. He might marry a second wife before his divorce is complete, for example. Eleven women participated in the study. I would also like to add that polygamy is not a staple in Islamic culture, nor is it a tradition. Gabe and I won't have that. Al-Krenawi A, Graham JR. A comparison of family functioning, life, and marital satisfaction, and mental health of women in polygamous and monogamous marriages. Second marriages are like that. And more children too they are all so respectful and loving, a clear example of the home theyre being brought up in.. Confidentiality of the data was ensured to all the participants. Lateron, both married. Could Your Relationship Benefit from Marital Counseling? Following subthemes were included in these main theme categories. The women of polygamous families shared their lived experiences of polygamy. She described that she was completely alone with her daughters after her husband's second marriage. She was very much disturbed and afraid of losing her husband. She had only one daughter. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. She said that she and her husband was working in the same organization. In some countries like India, Iran, Iraq, Bangladesh, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Jordan, and Kuwait allow a woman to include a clause prohibiting polygyny in marriage contacts. Accepting being a second wife can be challenging for those who are considering polygamy. But honestly, if your significant other has already had a wedding, who cares? Six were first (senior) wives, four were second wives, and one was the 3rd wife in status. composed of two imperfect people. Resource-defense, scarcity of men, and countering a high pathogen load, and cultural determinists posit religion and gender discrimination as factors of polygamy in these countries [15]. CNN . Mrs. Ahmad being 2nd wife told that after second marriage "I and my co-wife did not get along; our children also did not get along, and there was constant bickering between us. She stated I prefer not to attend the same social function or activity with my rival (co-wife). We have an ordinary life. This is by far the most common (and the most frequently legal) form of polygamy. She told when her husband introduced her to the other co-wives, in the beginning, they both cursed me but later they made a compromise and accepted her. Lillian, for example, says she changed her mind because she could see how sorry Thamsanqa was for hurting her, and when he explained his reasons she was able to move from heartbreak to acceptance. This can lead to a much-known phenomenon known as the second wife syndrome.. First theme: reasons of polygamy as findings indicated that majority of females allowed their husbands for co-wives due to infertility or having only female children, husbands love marriage, and in-laws family pressure because they wanted to secure their marriage instead of divorce. It was an arranged marriage. Third theme: The coping strategies used by polygamous women have included faith in religion, fate role, and compromise with the co-wives. That does not negate their significance to you and your partner (s), but the union will not be recognized by the law. Cecilia says her husband married a second wife purely for his own physical desires and greed. In Muslim families the textual basis is provided by the Holy Quran for the practice of polygamy: "Marry women of your choice two, or three, or four, but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one". 2019; 86(3): 1332-1370. A new law that went into effect in Kenya this week makes it legal for a man to marry as many women as he wants. "We being realistic have accepted the co-wives". READ MORE:After Criselda Dudumashe recently shared how her husband allegedly beat her up we thought we'd remind women how they can seek help. The main strength of this study is that it provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research. One Sunday morning Thamsanqa sat her down and asked her how shed feel if he took a second wife. The current study provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research. 2016; 22(3): 272-286. https://www.mckinleyirvin.com/family-law-blog/2012/october/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/, https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-rules-successful-second-marriage/, Living with a Spouse Who Has Aspergers Syndrome: the Cloud of Secrecy. The positive side of the study is to explore the advantages and strategies used by polygamous women were very significant. But that doesnt mean that they arent a little wounded. Polygamy is the general, gender-neutral term for any marriage between three or more people.Polygyny is a specific term used to describe a marriage that includes one husband and at least two wives. I never expected to be a second wife. But the current qualitative study is an attempt to fill the gaps that are left unexposed by survey-based or quantitative research and particularly to explore the positive consequences of polygamy and coping strategies which the polygamous women used to deal with co-wives relationships other than causes and disadvantages of co-wives. Obviously, it doesnt mean your marriage will end, just that it is more likely to than the first. But here I am, married to a man who was married before. Whats not typically expected is becoming a second wife. Challenges of Polygamy Partiality of husbands: this is where. Hence, before you embark on your marital journey, you must understand the second marriage problems and how to handle them. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. Mrs. Tanveer was though accepted her husband's second wife but she told, when my husband got married to the second wife this sharing was indeed hurting for me. Mrs. Imam was 58 years old working lady living with her 2 children and a relationship with her co-wife. 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. As when co-wives share their domestic chores, and other responsibilities of the family they become less possessive with time about their partners. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. His actions went against the traditional practice of asking for her permission and mediating until a solution is found, but legally he was within his rights. 2015; 12(3): 267-289. To seek the coping strategies to accept the new relationship by co-wives. Image from The Star. Too many people are dying because of the conflict between monogamy and polygamy. The study is not against polygamy but the need to improve the family structure of polygamous families is a major concern. In Pakistan polygamous women also facing many psycho social problems because our society is far away from the original teachings of Islam about polygamy. Accepting polygamy does not make. In Pakistan culture, most polygamous women get relief in religious practices and other activities as one of the senior wives (Mrs. Amir) said "whenever I am depressed, I am used to saying my prayer and get relief because divorce is not an option for me." Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. 1. As some statistics have it, we are one in every four married women you will meet. But the . Yet there are many other cultures that support a mans choice to take more than one wife and believe it is something that can benefit the women as well. Understand that he couldve cheated, but rather chose something that is common in African culture. Thamsanqa says its important to make sure you really want another wife, and to thoroughly analyse your reasons. He dearly loved his wife, Mary Ann Angell. 2005; 44(1): 81-98. Bigger families imply more connections. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. Because polygamy is typically condoned only in specific regions, it may be difficult to meet other willing participants to enter a polygamous union. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Al-Krenawi A, Graham JR, Ben-Shimol-Jacobsen S. Attitudes toward and reasons for polygamy differentiated by gender and age among Bedouin-Arabs of the Negev. So, she accepted this relationship. Both verbal and written consent was obtained. She was blended with her husband by love marriage. The co-wives were approached from their homes. If that doesnt work then they go to the husband and present their cases, and the husbands role is to restore peace. Children can complicate matters further as each mother might feel the maternal pull to protect her own offspring more than the children of the other wives. The sharia, Islamic family laws, and international human rights law: Examining the theory and practice of polygamy and talaq. 2020; 39(2): 750-760. Al-Sharfi M, Pfeffer K, Miller KA. An analysis of 11 cases of polygamous women transcribed verbatim showed a cluster of themes as infertility or having only female children, love marriage of husband, family pressure, the relationships among co-wives, and their coping strategies to accept this relationship in their marital life. 70% of those second marriages end in divorce. This can make for a challenging home life from day to day. Mrs. Amir was the 2nd wife and also had no children her husband married her for children and his family again forced him for 3rd wife by giving the reference of the religious doctrine. Avoiding adultery According to WorldCat, 99 percent of polygamous married men use this reason as justification for their undertakings. That kind of baggage can be detrimental to a second marriage and undermine any benefits of being the second wife. Unhappiness and loneliness: Mrs. Gulzar was unhappy about a lot of things in the marriage. disadvantages of being a second wife islamirina emelyanova pasternak 26th February 2023 / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by She said "first wife of my husband always get more privilege than me." ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry ISSN: 2231-7805 (In Print)E-ISSN "I have no physical disability that perhaps could've prompted his decision, he just decided that he needed a second wife," she says. Naturally, I instantly felt like I wasnt woman enough for him, Lillian says. Female infanticide and killing women for giving birth to a baby girl a case study of Pakistan inproceedings of socioint14-international conference on social sciences and humanities. It means if your husband is a citizen or green card holder, he. Its not like I wasnt married before, too. I was 14 when mom and dad told us Mam Thembi would be our second mother. There are many stereotypes associated with being a second wife. She tried her best to convince her husband not to get married to another woman but she was not succeeded. Depending on the source, divorce rates are pretty scary. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. Mrs. Mustafa though convinced her husband of second marriage but she said I was very much distressed and lonely after the 2nd marriage of my husband. Mediterranean Journal of Social Sciences. The first theme was generated from the verbatim of the first question which was asked to polygamous women. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. These themes were generated from the co-wives experiences. Your spouse may still have lingering feelings associated with the former marriage, including guilt, shame, regret, anger, sadness, or many others. 1.Why your spouse (husband) preferred 2nd or 3rd marriage? Second theme: outcomes of polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy.
Wisconsin High School Player Rankings, Scott Mckay Patriot Streetfighter, What Happens When The Curtains Close At A Crematorium, Platinum Executive Travel Money Laundering, Baton Rouge Obituaries, Articles D